Ultimate Fulfillment in Midlife (with Bernie Borges)

Jen [00:00:00]:
Okay. So today I have Bernie Borges, like gorgeous. I love that. And he has put together this incredible, incredible survey that he’s going to talk about today and all kinds of interesting things about his life. Bernie, will you tell us a little bit about who is Bernie Borges?

Bernie Borges [00:00:19]:
Sure. Well, Jen, first, thanks so much for having me. It’s great to be with you. So, wow. What a question. Who is Bernie Borges? Well, you know, a lot of things. So I am a husband. I am a dad.

Bernie Borges [00:00:31]:
I’m a granddad. We had our 4th grandchild born very recently, so that’s that’s awesome. I’m a Christ follower. I am a sports enthusiast, college football and NHL hockey, mostly. A little bit of baseball during the world series. And, vocationally, I have been a content marketer for more than 20 years. And then in recent years, Jen, as you know, I’ve been a podcaster. Actually, I’ve been a podcaster for 11 years.

Bernie Borges [00:01:01]:
But in recent years, I’ve been hosting the Midlife Fulfill podcast. And as you know, we’ll talk a little bit about, I just launched a big, big research report called thriving in midlife. So excited to dive into that with you.

Jen [00:01:14]:
See, I love it so much because that really ties in with the whole fabulous over 50, thriving in midlife. And what made you decide to choose that title?

Bernie Borges [00:01:24]:
Well, I think we can all agree, Jen, that we all wanna thrive. We all wanna thrive. And and if someone doesn’t wanna thrive, then, you know, they’re probably struggling mentally in some ways where they don’t have self esteem. So we all want to thrive. Now that can mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people because we all have our individual lives and our individual aspirations and that sort of thing, but we all want to thrive. Specifically, on my Midlife Fulfilled podcast, I constantly talk about we wanna thrive across 5 pillars. And those 5 pillars are health, fitness, career, relationships, and legacy. So in this report, thriving in midlife, the research that we did is all about that, thriving across those 5 pillars, health, fitness, career, relationships, and legacy.

Bernie Borges [00:02:18]:
And the reason for that, Jen, the reason it’s so important is because instead of any one of us, you, me, and, you know, 7,000,000,000 other people on this planet, looking at our life as one big ocean to try to boil, it’s much more manageable if we look at our life through the lens of those 5 pillars. So it’s easier for us to manage that and just say, how am I doing in health? How am I doing in fitness? How am I doing in career? How am I doing in relationships? How am I doing in legacy? And this let lets us sort of compartmentalize those 5 big pillars of life, and then so that we can really do a deeper dive into each of them and know where we’re doing okay and where we’re not doing so okay and need to improve.

Jen [00:03:05]:
And then we, you know, we had been talked talking a while ago, and you were saying, you know, sometimes the people have an issue in one spot. They kind of focus on that. But by looking at the 5 pillars, you can say, oh, I’ve got this issue, but these other four things are good. It really helps put it more in perspective, I think. You know, not to minimize problems, but just to say, to recognize what is good instead of, you know, just yeah. So what about legacy? Now that’s a word that we don’t hear. I think we don’t hear often enough to be honest. And what is the legacy peer pillar?

Bernie Borges [00:03:38]:
Yeah. Yeah. No. I thank you for asking. I love this topic. You know, admittedly, legacy is something that we generally don’t start thinking about into some later years. For some people, it could be their forties. For other people, it might be their sixties or seventies.

Bernie Borges [00:03:52]:
But, basically, legacy as the word really means literally is it’s about what is what impact do you wanna have on fill in the blank? What impact do you wanna have on your family? Maybe an individual, maybe a cause, maybe a certain community that you are a part of. So it’s what what impact do you wanna have on, again, fill in the blank, whatever. And it doesn’t have to be just one thing, of course. It could be multiple things. And so we, again, we start thinking about that in our later years. I know I didn’t think about that in my twenties thirties, not even in my forties, to be honest. It was more kind of post 50, and I’m in my sixties. So, really, after, you know, hitting the decade of my fifties is when I really started thinking about it.

Bernie Borges [00:04:36]:
But it’s important to all of us.

Jen [00:04:39]:
And it it’s I’m looking right now at your report, and it looks like more than half of the people are satisfied, and they’re fulfilled in their legacy. In fact, over 60%. Right? Well well, maybe 53. Okay. That’s very interesting to me, Because like you said, a lot of people don’t think about it, really. And maybe they didn’t even think about it until you asked the question. I know it’s something that for some reason, I’ve thought about a lot. You know, if I’m not here, what what difference am I leaving behind? And, I don’t know.

Jen [00:05:12]:
To some people, I think that’s a daunting question. And what kind of responses do you get when you talk to people about that?

Bernie Borges [00:05:20]:
I I think for a lot of people, again, I’m mostly in a similar, demographic as you are in terms of the people that we interact with, and people are thinking about it. Again, in those, you know, post 40, mostly over fifties decade, people are thinking about legacy. The question really is, you know, what are you doing about it? What action are you taking? You know? So that’s so I am definitely seeing a lot of interest in it. But what I’ll what I’m also seeing interest in, and especially as I I talk to leaders in businesses, is the concept of really looking at employees through the lens of fulfillment. You know, for years, Jen, as you know, employers, meaning leaders in business, whether it’s HR people, talent, you know, recruitment people, or just leaders in general within businesses, they would think in terms of employee satisfaction. And and I think what I’m, not I think. I know what I am helping these leaders really think about is think about employee fulfillment because fulfillment is much deeper than satisfaction. Fulfillment is so level deep, Jen.

Bernie Borges [00:06:30]:
It’s associated with achievement. And when we achieve something, we have a sense of fulfillment. And the thing about that, Jen, is that when we achieve something and we have a fulfillment about it, it’s immutable. You can’t take that away from me. If I complete a project and I’m really proud of that project, there’s nothing you can do to take that fulfillment away from me. Whereas satisfaction is is sort of sort of like an emotion. I can be satisfied on a Monday afternoon and not satisfied on a Tuesday morning for any number of reasons. Right? So a lot of what I’m doing with this report is really helping leaders in organizations become more self aware around the importance of fulfillment, and I’m driving this concept of fulfillment centric leadership.

Bernie Borges [00:07:17]:
And it’s resonating, Jen. It’s resonating. What do you think about that concept?

Jen [00:07:20]:
I think it’s amazing. So one of my daughters works for a company that strives to do that. They recognize their employees for legitimate achievements and make sure that everyone feels like understands how important they are to that company. And it’s, it’s amazing. I mean, so far above and beyond, and it makes such a difference in the way they, they think about work. You know, it’s not just work and they, they, they bring work outside and they do fun things. And, it, and it’s, it’s really incredible. And I wish more companies did things like this.

Jen [00:07:56]:
So I love the fact that you’re taking this scientifically based study to employers saying, look, this isn’t just something we think, or we feel, or, you know, everybody gets a trophy kind of a, you know, mindset that everyone’s been in. No, this is a let’s really help people understand, right, how important they are, and give them an opportunity to be fulfilled at work.

Bernie Borges [00:08:21]:
Exactly. You know, you described it as scientifically, based, and and I’ll I’ll use slightly different words, but we’re saying the same thing, and that’s evidence based. Okay. And and I’ll give you an example.

Jen [00:08:31]:
Okay.

Bernie Borges [00:08:32]:
In in the the survey that we we did, one of the 42 questions that we asked is how fulfilled are you in your career? 61.2% of the respondents and by the way, 530 people took this survey, and about 69% went in the US, and the balance was outside the US. All English speaking.

Jen [00:08:51]:
Can I just say, I think that that’s fantastic that you did that? So you’ve got you know? Because we tend to be very US centric in the US.

Bernie Borges [00:08:59]:
Right.

Jen [00:08:59]:
So thank you for doing that. I just I think that’s it.

Bernie Borges [00:09:02]:
Yeah. Yeah. Cool. So the the 2 one of the 42 questions was how fulfilled are you in your career? 61.2% said that they’re very fulfilled. Now several questions further down in the 42 question survey that people took for this. And by the way, it was all anonymous. I did not ask for an email or a name. It was purely anonymous.

Bernie Borges [00:09:25]:
Unless someone told me they took the survey, I have no way of knowing who took the survey. K? So, anyway, I keep digressing. 61.2% said they’re highly fulfilled in their career. So further down in the survey, the question was asked, how satisfied are you in your career? And the difference was astronomical. 75% said they’re highly satisfied, but 61.2% said that they’re highly fulfilled. So why is there a discrepancy there? So my interpretation of that is that, again, satisfaction has a lower bar. It’s more of an emotion. But when you ask people about fulfillment, they’re raising the bar on that.

Bernie Borges [00:10:09]:
And only 61.2%, and this is where I come back to the employer concept. Right? Leaders at businesses really need to be thinking about fulfillment with their employees. Because if you ask them how satisfied they are, you might get a response like we got. 75% said they’re satisfied, but only 61.2 said they’re highly fulfilled. See the difference?

Jen [00:10:31]:
Absolutely. Absolutely. And that can be the difference in retaining that employee or losing them. Right? Almost 40% of your employees.

Bernie Borges [00:10:39]:
That’s Exactly.

Jen [00:10:40]:
Significant. So that is in that is really incredible. So what would you say would be the is there a pillar that is more important than the others, or does that depend on the person?

Bernie Borges [00:10:51]:
Yeah. No. I think that totally depends on on the person. Let me walk through each of the pillars real quickly, just to to give them all some context and explanation and and also why, you know, why I believe these are the 5 pillars. Health is a humongous one because it’s both physical and mental. And for that reason alone, Jen, it’s humongous. And so so when you look at your health, there are things about your health that you may be able to control, and there are things about your health you may not be able to control. So asking yourself how fulfilled you are in your health is a big question.

Bernie Borges [00:11:27]:
Fitness is about just being able to do the things we need to do. Jen, it’s not about you and I competing in the Olympics. That’s not gonna happen. Right? It’s about being able to do the things we need to do. So being and, you know, maintaining muscle strength so that we can keep our bones strong as we age and just do what needs to be done, whether it’s housework, yard work, whatever it may be. Career doesn’t need much explanation. Right? We go through decades decades of career activity and, in many cases, changes, maybe reinvention, whatever that may be. Relationships is another huge pillar because it not only includes the obvious things like your immediate family, friends, neighbors, but also faith for people who are are people of faith like like I am.

Bernie Borges [00:12:15]:
That’s a relationship. Right? So the the different types of relationships that we have within our life are very broad and very different. And then as we’ve also discussed, legacy as we discussed, briefly is, you know, what impact do you wanna have on whatever that may be? So when you look at those 5 pillars, that is something that is very unique to each of us. And I often say, you can be fulfilled in some area of your life, but yet still be unhappy. So fulfillment is not a guarantee. I just actually did a did a post on this, and I’m seeing the reaction. Some I asked the question, would you rather be fulfilled or happy? Because in the research and this report, I asked that question, Jen, and 79.2%. Let’s round that up to 80%.

Bernie Borges [00:13:04]:
Said they’d rather be fulfilled. If you could only be 1, if you could only be either fulfilled or happy, which would you choose was the question in the survey. And rounding up from 79 fraction to 80 because 20.8 said they they chose happiness, but 80% chose fulfillment. So it’s so level deep, Jen. When you have fulfillment in some aspect of life, it’s immutable. Meaning, you can’t take it away. And when employers look at when employers are looking at their employees through that lens of fulfillment, they’ve got a much greater chance of boosting engagement for those employees and and having those employees stick around, you know, retaining those employees.

Jen [00:13:49]:
So it’s a win win because employers are happy. They’re getting better work or the employers are getting better workers. Right? Because the workers are happy and the the people are happy.

Bernie Borges [00:13:58]:
Exactly.

Jen [00:13:59]:
Well, not happy, but fulfilled and therefore doing better work probably.

Bernie Borges [00:14:04]:
Exactly.

Jen [00:14:04]:
Because they’re going to their business and they’re feeling like a very important contributor and good. They’re getting something deeper out of it than just donuts on Friday or whatever. Right.

Bernie Borges [00:14:15]:
And, Jen, I love the f word you you used. You said they’re feeling value. They’re feeling like you care about them, and it’s absolutely the truth. You know, we we’re we’re made up of thoughts and feelings. If you boil down to, like, as human beings, like, what are we made up of aside from our, you know, physiology, thoughts and feelings. So when employees feel valued, then, again, everything you just said. They’re gonna be more productive. They’re gonna stick around longer.

Bernie Borges [00:14:49]:
They’re gonna recommend the employer as an employer of choice, you know, a place to work, that sort of thing. And there’s so many businesses that are struggling with not only retention, but also struggling with intergenerational workplace dynamics. And we’ve got some insights on that in this report as well because we asked 6 questions about that, Jen. We asked 6 questions about how do you work with younger people in the workplace, and a lot of organizations are struggling with that.

Jen [00:15:17]:
Yeah. So that is that is fascinating that you did that as well, I think, because that is something that comes up a lot. Because as I’m sure that, you know, and I’ve, I’ve learned recently, there’s a lot of, boomer has become a bad word and a lot of boomer hate. Literally, like it’s crazy out there. So I think that’s interesting. Do you know do you have suggestions? What can people do, employers do, to help ease those relationship tensions?

Bernie Borges [00:15:50]:
Yeah. Well, I think it starts with self awareness, which is not only something that each of us should do at the individual level, but employers, leaders, and organizations should become more aware of what we’re discussing here in this conversation, which is the importance of leading with fulfillment. The importance of driving fulfillment within their their teams. So a simple approach, and I and I I cover this when I deliver a 1 hour keynote, and then I also dive deeper when I’m doing this in a workshop environment. And that is developing strategies within the organization to create projects that drive achievement and drive which drive fulfillment. And I generally like to do things you know, as the rule of 3, I didn’t make this up. It’s it’s proven. It’s it’s scientifically proven that the brain can really handle 3 of anything more than 4, 5, 6, 7, whatever.

Bernie Borges [00:16:49]:
Right? 3 is kinda like the magic amount. Right? So if you have three levels of difficulty so that employees can have something that’s relatively easy that they can achieve, and then something that’s, you know, maybe medium and then something high in terms of challenge, So that employees are have a good variety of those three levels of the types of achievement that they can experience in the workplace. And for leaders to do this intentionally, Jen, and to spread it out over the span of a year so they’re planning whether it’s quarterly or however they choose to do it, and they’re spreading it out and implementing this as a strategy, again, with intention, then they have a much greater chance of driving fulfillment that can be measured both in the way of literal fulfillment because you can survey them, as well as just, engagement in the workplace and retention. That’s just a high level on, you know, what leaders can be thinking about.

Jen [00:17:48]:
That is incredible. And you’re doing this because you are a leader in business. So this impacts you. Right? And you meet with other leaders, I’m and I’m guessing. And, you’ve probably talked a lot about difficulties with all these things and retention. That is something I hear from my friends who have employees, really all time difficulty retaining employees right now.

Bernie Borges [00:18:15]:
Exactly. Exactly. But, you know, here’s the truth, Jen. I did not become as aware of the these principles until I spent the last almost 3 years hosting the Midlife Fulfilled podcast, having lots of conversations around all these topics, all these related topics, and then doing this research project, which, by the way, I I should mention, I partnered with Udemy on this research project, so they’re my partner on this. And so, when you get to anybody who reads the report, they’ll see, you know, Udemy, and they’ll see an ad from Udemy, they’ll see an ad from me, that sort of thing. But I didn’t really get my own level of awareness heightened until I spent the last 3 years and then the last 6 months on this research project. So and I wish that I knew this years ago when I had my own business and I had employees and and I was in corporate and I had, you know, a team reporting to me, I I would have approached things differently.

Jen [00:19:16]:
Well, this is great. So how are you getting the word out?

Bernie Borges [00:19:21]:
Well, through traditional, means, of course, having the distinct honor and pleasure of, being on a wonderful podcast like like yours, Jen. That’s certainly one way. We’re doing some social media, and then, of course, my friends at Udemy are are doing their part as well. They’re approaching media outlets to, to cover this. They’re getting the word out to to their community, and they have a pretty sizable community of people. So it’s a combination of all that, and and a lot of that is just even content that I’m producing to, to spread the word. So, again, it’s a privilege to, to partner with you on this episode to help spread the word on on the report. I really wanna help leaders at organizations embrace these this fulfillment centric leadership mindset and then drive those fulfillment centric leadership strategies into organizations.

Bernie Borges [00:20:17]:
And And I briefly mentioned earlier, I’m doing that through speaking, workshops. I’m also offering a custom version of this survey, so helping organizations do this survey. And it can be, obviously, custom tailored for an organization so that they can get the the insights that we got from 530 people spread across different countries and do that within an organization to gain insights into those fulfillment insights with their employee base, which can then position them to develop, again, the fulfillment centric leadership strategy. And and to that end, Jenna, I’m I’m in the process of working some some marketing material where I’m rebranding myself as the fulfillment architect. Because what I wanna do is I wanna help organizations architect these fulfillment centric leadership strategies.

Jen [00:21:10]:
And, you know, I think that’s really important how you’re saying this because words matter. And I think that people somewhat have lost that. So I think it’s really great that you’re strategically planning your words to really explain to the employers. And you’re going to reach so many people so many more people by reaching out to the employers. But personally, I think just by reading this report, it was helpful to me to realize, oh, I really am fulfilled in these things. You know? It it just I I don’t know. It made me look at my whole life in a different way Right.

Bernie Borges [00:21:48]:
To look

Jen [00:21:48]:
at this report.

Bernie Borges [00:21:49]:
No. That’s great.

Jen [00:21:50]:
Just wanna thank you for that. I think it’s incredible.

Bernie Borges [00:21:53]:
Well, thank you for for the recognition. I also I I I would be remiss if I didn’t do a little bit of a shameless plug for my midlife fulfilled podcast. I mean, that’s certainly a a way that any individual can kinda plug into my world because they’re I’m featuring people across a variety of topics that are of interest to the midlife community. And, incidentally, I generally define the midlife community as over 40. Although, between you and me and the million people that are listening, most of us begin our midlife in our thirties. I know I did, even though we don’t think of it that way. But simply stated, midlife is generally over the age of 40. And and I cover all these topics on the Midlife of Phil Podcast, and, obviously, you can get that anywhere he looks into podcasts.

Jen [00:22:41]:
And we’ll have a link in the description so people can just click it and go right there. So we’re going to have a link to all things Bernie Borges. So we will have for the podcast, for the report, for your website, for everything so people can find you and learn all about you. Because I think what you’re doing is absolutely fabulous and incredible because I think the more people we reach at this particular time of life, the better it is. Right? We wanna help people enjoy this time of life. I you know, I don’t know about you. I’ve I’ve seen on social media lately a lot of pictures of people our age 40 or 50 years ago, and then people our age now. And there is a huge difference because 40 or 50 years ago, people our age looked like old people.

Jen [00:23:28]:
You know? And they they just it was a whole different mindset, I feel like. They were done. They were they seemed like they were you know, they knew it all. They could just sit back and drink their martinis and peep they put their feet up. Boy, people now aren’t doing that. We’re going out and doing all kinds of new things and conquering the world and thinking about, are we fulfilled? I think those aren’t even questions that were asked. I know my dad would have never wondered if he was fulfilled. You know?

Bernie Borges [00:23:54]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Jen [00:23:55]:
Are you am I doing my job or not?

Bernie Borges [00:23:58]:
Exactly. So my podcast, I’m at at the time of this recording, I’m at 205 episodes. Just a few episodes ago, I did an episode with a gentleman whose specialty is longevity. So we had this amazing, insightful conversation about how we are living in a world where longevity is a real thing. Society needs to be thinking about it. Employers need to be thinking about it. Higher institutes educational institutions need to be thinking about longevity. And to your point, Jen, that was not the case 40 or 50 years ago.

Bernie Borges [00:24:31]:
You know, people didn’t live as long as we’re living now. And it’s a combination of modern science and, you know, health science, but also lifestyles. A lot more people, like you and me, are are intentional about our lifestyle, living healthier lifestyles, which is a big contributor to longevity. So absolutely. Let’s let’s help people enjoy their longevity.

Jen [00:24:54]:
Right. Exactly. Exactly. And, you know, that’s I keep trying to tell people. It doesn’t matter. And even maybe you don’t feel well. Maybe you’re having health issues as you get older. I am here to tell you, you can do if you have breath, right? You can do things and you can encourage people and you can learn.

Jen [00:25:10]:
And I think that is one thing that you’re doing that I enjoy doing as well is taking on new projects and learning new things. It is so much fun. And I really thought I don’t know, Bernie. When let’s say you were like a teenager. Did you think that someone that is your age now just had life all completely figured out?

Bernie Borges [00:25:29]:
Not only no. Not only would I think that, but I also would think them to be old. Back when I was a teenager, if I understand your question correctly, I would think someone at my age, I’m 67. And by the way, I have age pride, so I never hide my age. I don’t have any reluctance about talking about my age. I have age pride. But as a teenager, I would never think that me as a 67 year old would be doing the things that I’m doing today, including on the fitness front. I recently did a a little boot camp.

Bernie Borges [00:26:00]:
I say little because it wasn’t super intense, but it was nonetheless a boot camp with a couple of other guys that were in good shape. And and I did it. And it was great fun. I I thoroughly enjoyed it. And, you know, there are some people that maybe 20 years younger than me that might not be able to do it if they’re not maintaining their fitness. And that’s just an important part of just overall longevity as well as just feeling fulfilled about that. I mean, the sense of fulfillment that I got when I completed that boot camp, again, it’s immutable. You can’t take take that away from me.

Jen [00:26:32]:
Yeah. Yeah. And whether you’re having a good day or a bad day, that is still that fulfillment is still there. And that is such an incredible way to look at life, I think. Because when you’re chasing happiness, you know, and those feelings, those feelings are yeah. But that is something that’s so deep. I love this. Okay.

Jen [00:26:53]:
Is there anything else that you want to share before we go?

Bernie Borges [00:26:58]:
I maybe just a a summary of just kind of a key point that we discussed here today, Jen, and that is just that fulfillment is something that is soul level deep, and it is associated with achievement. It could be small achievements. It could be medium sized achievements. It could be big achievements. Doesn’t matter. And so when we look at our life through the lens of those 5 pillars and simply ask ourselves, how fulfilled are we in each of those 5 pillars, health, fitness, career, relationships, and legacy, we can manage. We can work through those fulfillment levels more manageable. And then when employers are looking at their employees through that same lens, then they can develop their fulfillment centric leadership strategies to really maximize employee engagement and also maximize retention.

Bernie Borges [00:27:48]:
So I would just kinda leave it a sort of a recap of the the the main things that we discussed.

Jen [00:27:55]:
I love that. Alright. And let’s say somebody is an employer, and they’re they think, oh, Bernie, I need to reach out to you. Where can they do that?

Bernie Borges [00:28:04]:
Sure. Well, my my website is, midlifefulfilled.com.midlifefulfilled.com. And then, my email is bernie@midlifefulfilled.com.

Jen [00:28:14]:
There we go. That’s easy. All right. And that will all be in the description. So you can just click on things and get right to Bernie. And definitely we will have the survey that you can see because it is absolutely incredible. Thank you so much, Britney, for coming and telling us about it and sharing a little bit and reminding us that fulfillment is important. Definitely.

Bernie Borges [00:28:37]:
Thank you for having me, Jen. I’ve really enjoy. I enjoy every conversation I have with you. Thank you so much. Thank you.