The Secret to Getting Kids Attention

Jen Hardy [00:00:10]:

Welcome to the fabulous over 50 podcast where we encourage, inspire and empower women to find their fabulous and live the life of their dreams. I’m your host, Jen Hardy and today we’re going to do that by talking about how to get kids attention. Because whether you’re a mom of young or older children or a grandma taking care of children or anyone who’s involved in the lives of children, you’re going to know that getting and holding kids attention in this day and time is not easy. And so today I’m going to encourage you to find it in a place that you might not expect, and that is the family game cupboard. If you look at the website, I’m going to show you some pictures of my game cupboard. I just redid my kitchen and the inspiration for the whole thing actually came from our games because in my family, games are the center of our engagement. They really are because we’ve got kids from eleven to 34 and as they’ve been growing it’s hard to find things that everyone enjoys doing. But games is one of those things.

Jen Hardy [00:01:28]:

So in a world where everything else is moving at the speed of light, a board game forces us to slow down. And it also requires strategic thinking I can say that word patience and collaboration. And unlike the flashing screens of our phones and tablets, board games stimulate the mind without overloading everyone’s senses. So it’s time to dust off those old boxes and rediscover the magic of Monopoly, scrabble and candyland and some new ones like exploding kittens, unstable unicorns and our family favorite, munchkin. So why in the world do we do this? Well, playing a board game is exciting. Whether it’s the thrill of beating grandma in a game of chess or the suspense of waiting to see if dad will finally go bankrupt in Monopoly, I cannot say words monopoly board games are creating a roller coaster of emotions that keep kids engaged and focused. And what’s more, they’re teaching valuable life skills. They teach them to plan, negotiate, they teach teamwork and sportsmanship.

Jen Hardy [00:02:38]:

And those things are all nurtured on the game board. Board games give you a platform for social interaction, conversation and family bonding. And they enable parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles and children to connect without any technology. And that helps us get a deeper and more meaningful relationship. There’s just something about playing a game that allows for some deep conversations. Sometimes while the kids are focusing on their game, it allows you to kind of ask those questions that might not be answered. If you’re just sitting across the table, if it’s just you and a child trying to have, or you and a teen especially, and you want to know some things, you want to find out more about them and you’re sitting across a table from them, just grilling them with questions you know that they will shut down. Maybe if it’s a nice long relaxed meal.

Jen Hardy [00:03:34]:

Maybe you can coax some things out of them, but it’s just really hard. And so I’ve found that you put a game in front of everybody and it’s kind of a little bit distracting enough where they don’t feel focused on. Like it’s just them that’s being focused on and sometimes they open up more. And another thing about board games versus video games is that they’re tactile, right? You’re moving physical pieces around a board, you’re rolling dice, you’re holding cards. And they create this connection with the game that is so important and we’re kind of losing that, right? And that really draws kids in. They like sensory things. And another beautiful aspect of them is their variety. We’ve got so many different kinds of games.

Jen Hardy [00:04:21]:

Ones that involve numbers and logic, ones that create creativity and they use your imagination. There’s something for every child and adult’s interest in age. And parents can choose games or grandparents that align with their children and please your own passions, making the learning process even more engaging. And the thing is, there are so many games and fun fact, you don’t just have to play them with kids. This is a great thing to do with other adults. My friends and I play games when we get together. It is so much fun and it really helps I don’t know, it really helps take the pressure off that conversation, especially if sometimes it can be awkward or whatever. It just helps.

Jen Hardy [00:05:02]:

So the next time you find yourself battling for your child’s attention, remember that sometimes old ways can be the best ways. So break out a board game, roll the dice, and watch the magic unfold. Because you just may find that the secret to engagement was hiding in plain sight all along. Okay, but something to remember if we’re serious about engaging with kids on their level, is that we have to also recognize the importance of video games in this generation. They’re not just a distraction or a way to pass the time for kids. Now, for a lot of them, they’re a passion, they’re a hobby, and they’re also a way to connect with friends because they’re also digitally connected and they’re not connected in the same ways that we were. And to them, it’s a world that is as real and meaningful as the rest of the world is to us because it’s just how they see things and it’s how they connect. And when we understand that, we have a secret weapon.

Jen Hardy [00:06:06]:

So if your child or grandchild is reluctant to play your board games, then how about you propose a deal? It’s time for you to pick up that controller and learn to play some video games. And you might just find yourself immersed in a colorful, imaginative world that you never knew existed. Now, what if you’re saying, oh my gosh, I have no idea? I know. I didn’t either. But there’s a beautiful thing in teaching, right? And when you set a child up to teach you to do something new, you’re giving them a gift. Because especially if you’re a grandparent or a parent who’s been very reluctant, and you say, you know what? I would love it if you’d teach me to play this game, because I know it’s important to you, and that makes it important to me. So here’s what I’m going to tell you. Make an agreement with the child and here it is.

Jen Hardy [00:07:03]:

Promise them equal time. Tell them, hey, I want you to teach me how to play this game and then I’ll play a half an hour of your video games with you and you play a half an hour board games with me. And it’s a win win. And this is a win win that is going way beyond the entertainment factor because by engaging in their world of the video games, you’re showing an interest in what excites them. You’re learning about the characters they love and probably talk about all the time, the stories that are captivating them, the challenges that they enjoy overcoming that you might not understand at all. And what you need to know here is it doesn’t matter if you understand it or it’s your thing because it’s a window into their world and it can lead to a profound conversations and understanding. If your grandchild goes to school and says, hey, grandma spent all weekend playing minecraft with me, their friends are going to be so jealous. I’m telling you.

Jen Hardy [00:07:57]:

I have talked to so many kids about that because locally we’re going to start teaching grandparents how to play video games so that they can surprise and encourage their grandchildren or their nieces and nephews or whoever. Because these kids are getting lost. These screens are taking over. And what’s happening is they’re losing the ability to communicate on the kind of level, on a personal level, and we need to help bring that back, right? And we’re going to use the tools that they love to help us get there, okay? And also when you exchange interests with someone else, it’s going to teach them lessons in compromise because compromising is a lesson that is so important and I feel is getting lost right now in our world, right. It’s my way or the highway. But you’re also honoring their interests, okay? And you’re teaching them how to honor yours. You’re setting that example and creating this mutual respect. And it’s going to transcend the games themselves, I’m telling you, because if you go to them and especially if you’re like, look, I don’t get this.

Jen Hardy [00:09:10]:

I don’t understand why you like it. I don’t understand how to play it. I don’t know what the A and B button are and what is XY and what is a bumper, I don’t know. But will you explain it to me? They will be thrilled and they may not act thrilled. That’s one of the things. And that’s okay because they’re going to do it anyway, and they’re secretly going to love it. Just don’t tell them that you know that, okay? And this is how you’re going to build this bridge across generations. Because when their video game can become a common language with you, that shared experience is going to bring you so much closer.

Jen Hardy [00:09:48]:

And then when it’s time to switch to board games, they’re going to see them through new eyes because they’re going to feel part of it because you became part of their experience, and now you’re bringing them into your experience. So in this world where kids attention and getting it feels like an insurmountable task, games, both video and board, can offer an effective solution. And being willing to enter their world and inviting them to connect to yours is going to create this shared space of fun and learning and connection. And I’m telling you, you’re going to learn things about these kids you never knew existed. So the next time you’re with them and the screams seem to have just won that battle for this child’s attention, remember the secret. A controller in your hand and a board game on the table can open doors to a world of engagement, understanding and relationship. And who knows? You just might find that you have a hidden talent for virtual adventures. I know in my house there are some games that we play on the Switch, the Nintendo Switch.

Jen Hardy [00:11:00]:

And let me tell you what, I stink at my fine motor skills and my eye hand coordination. But my kids aren’t judging me. They’re not sitting there going, oh, mom, you stink at this. No, we laugh and we joke around and we have so much fun and it’s really, really helped. So I encourage you to grab some games. And there’s some great channels on YouTube that tell you how to play some of the newer games because there’s some really cool new games out there. Some of the ones I mentioned before. Exploding kittens, unstable unicorns and munchkin.

Jen Hardy [00:11:36]:

Munchkin is a deep dive. It’s kind of like Dungeons and Dragons light, and it takes an hour to an hour and a half to play, and it’s got a long learning curve. But Exploding Kittens and Unstable Unicorns, games like that, they’re pretty quick to learn. Go on YouTube, say how to play whatever, one of these new games, and they’re going to show it. It’s so much easier to learn than looking at the five pages of directions and watch it with your kids. Let them learn with you how to play a new game or take them to the store and say, okay, we’re going to get two board games today. We’re going to get one that you pick, and we’re going to get one that I pick, and then you can learn them together. The key is teaching compromise and teaching that the quality time together is so important and also being willing for you to compromise and learn what’s important to them.

Jen Hardy [00:12:31]:

That’s it. And I hope that this helps. And I would love for you to reach out and let me know how did it work for you because I’m pretty sure that it’s going to go pretty well unless somebody loses a game and gets their feelings hurt. And that’s a conversation for another day because everybody well, everybody can’t win. But honestly, it’s another good lesson, the whole winning and losing thing. So that’s just something else to add. And if you’re sitting there thinking, wow, I totally get this, the video game thing. All these kids are doing it.

Jen Hardy [00:13:06]:

I don’t get it. I don’t know how to relate. I’m having a hard time. I’ve got this group, it’s the Gold Circle. And you can join us, be with a bunch of other women that are the same age, going through a lot of the same things, whether it’s kids, whether it’s grandchildren, nieces, nephews, whatever, or completely other things that you want to talk about, like going through the change. And what does that entail? All these things we can talk about in this group that’s very safe, very private. So go to Jenhardy Net. You’ll see a link for Gold Circle, click on it, boom, you’re in.

Jen Hardy [00:13:38]:

I would love to have you. I’d love to get to know you. And if you just want to reach out and you’re like, I don’t want to join the group. I just want to reach out. Jen@jenhardy.net is my email. Or go to jenhardy. Net slash contact contact me there because I would just love to hear from you. And like always, I am so thankful that you chose to spend your time with me.

Jen Hardy [00:14:02]:

Your time is the most valuable thing you have and it means so much. So thank you for that. Stay stay tuned and stay fabulous.