Pro-Aging Movement – A New Viewpoint

Jen Hardy [00:00:11]:

Welcome to the fabulous over 50 podcast. No matter where you live or what you’re into, Being fabulous is a state of mind. I’m your host, Jen Hardy. And today, we are going to talk about being fabulous by embracing the pro aging movement. And if you’re thinking to yourself, wait a minute. I thought we were talking about anti aging. Yes. All the medicines and the creams and everything.

Jen Hardy [00:00:41]:

They all talk about anti aging, but What’s the alternative to aging? I’m just gonna let you think about that for a minute. As someone who the doctors said wasn’t going to make it past 2019. I’m very thankful to be aging. I am so thankful that I’m here I get to be with you. I get to wake up every morning on this beautiful island. Listen to the beach from my backyard and hang out with my kids and my husband. We play lots of games, do all kinds of things. And I’ve really been thinking lately about this whole anti aging thing.

Jen Hardy [00:01:20]:

And I was talking to a friend of mine who’s actively working to stop the words antiaging from being on packaging. and man. At first, I thought that’s one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard just because we all have heard it for so long. Right? I mean, you want your oil of olay to be antiaging and your whatever your, you know, $5000 cream is if you’re a famous person. But the alternative to aging is death. Or I’m just gonna throw it out there. It is. We either age or we die.

Jen Hardy [00:01:58]:

And personally, I don’t I don’t wanna die. I wanna live. I want to live a fabulous life. So what is that gonna mean to me? Well, it’s going to mean to me that I finally have made peace with my body. And, you know, it’s really funny because I look back at pictures of me. And before I had my first child, I was a 120 pounds an  5’8″ tall. And I had anorexia because I felt so fat. Fat, 120 pounds  at 5’8″!

Jen Hardy [00:02:28]:

I was not fat. But I grew up in Los Angeles in the eighties. You could never be too rich or too thin. And I really heard a lot of, you know, things and from people around me and looking at magazines. And and I used to they would have these movies. You know, remember those after school movies they had, like to teach you not to use drugs or not to get pregnant or whatever. And they had one about anorexia, and the girl on there was, like, 88 pounds She was bones and about to die. And I remember thinking, I wish I could get that thin.

Jen Hardy [00:03:01]:

Okay. That is just so you know where my mindset used to be. I am now I’ll just say it a £160 at 58. It is not thin, but it’s healthy and I feel really good about myself. And I’m just so thankful to be here. And, you know, I I’m just so thankful. And at this point, that number I I think numbers matter less. Right? Exactly what age you are. 

Jen Hardy [00:03:27]:

You know, remember when you were, like, 10? So I was like, how old are you? I’m 10a half. Right? Because that number made a huge difference. And, again, with the weight. Right? It it it made a huge difference at some point in many of our lives. And I think right now, the number you are in age, the number you are on the scale, all of those things matter less, And we’ve come to realize what matters most. And that can be different for each of us. It doesn’t have to be the same thing. I’ve had children.

Jen Hardy [00:03:59]:

So to me, One of the most important things in my life is my children. I’m married to the man of my dreams. So to me, one of the most important things is my husband. But Some people are very happily without children. And so they have very different things and very happily single, and they have very different things. And that is something that I just want the conversation to address the conversation being here and in our society in general. Is that We can want different things. We can celebrate different things.

Jen Hardy [00:04:29]:

Different things are fabulous to me. than they are for you, like my sparkly nail polish. I love it. I will only go to a place that has ridiculously ridiculously sparkly nail polish. because I have my nails done. That is my one thing I do for me completely every week forever. And but to me, that’s important. Now the me 10 years ago would have never put that stuff on my fingers and I would have told you that you were crazy.

Jen Hardy [00:04:53]:

So even where I was a while ago and where I am now are different. And am I rambling about all these things? Well, I’ll tell you. I’m I’m just trying to give you some insight into me and into my thought process. Okay? This podcast is taking off. It is taking off in a way I never anticipated. Since I have changed over to fabulous over 50, this is hitting it. You are understanding what I’m going for. You’re liking it, and I love that.

Jen Hardy [00:05:21]:

And In fact, I would love it if you would reach out to me. You can email me jen@jenhardy.net, or you can go to my website jenhardy.net/contact. Either way, reach out and say, hey, Jen. I wanna hear more of blah blah blah blah. And please stop talking about the other thing or whatever. Or maybe it’s all positive, and that’s fabulous, obviously. But I like to hear both sides. I wanna know What do you like? What don’t you like? What do you think about this song that I play over and over? Maybe you don’t like it as much as I do.

Jen Hardy [00:05:52]:

Maybe I should change it up every once in a while. I want your opinion. But Getting back to how I started, getting back to the main topic. This antiaging phenomenon that is happening right now, I really want you to think about it the next time you see something that says anti aging because what does it mean to age? In fact, while I’m sitting here right now, I am going to literally pull it up on Google. And we’re going to go well, actually, we’re gonna go to dictionary.com. And we’re gonna put in aging, and and we’re gonna look up what the name what the word aging means. aging. The process of becoming old or older.

Jen Hardy [00:06:33]:

Okay. If aging means the process of becoming old or older, according to dictionary, dotcom and probably every other dictionary. Give or take. Antiaging means that you’re not getting older, older. Now I get that. I get it. The creams are trying to say, you are going to look like Brooke Shields at 16 or Christie Brinkley in the eighties or whatever. But you’re not, and I’m not.

Jen Hardy [00:07:01]:

And that is not what those creams do. And those women that are on the covers of those things They may have used that product one time. I guarantee that Jennifer Aniston is not using a CoverGirl lotion on her face as the only thing she does. a, and probably never uses that. To be quite honest, she uses things that are much more high end. She also would have a surgeon and chemical peels and all kinds of other things. Being from LA, I can tell you right now, there is almost no one on television that doesn’t have some sort of work done. They just do.

Jen Hardy [00:07:36]:

I can I can save what possibly is an exception to that. is Dame Judy Jen. Dench, she is out there rocking who she is. She’s rocking it being her age, and I love that. Just shout out to her. But I’m gonna I’m gonna have a I’m gonna have on the blog post. Okay? We’re gonna have you you just you gotta click on the blog post because I’m gonna have some pictures. I’m gonna have some pictures of her, and then we can have Martha Stewart, who has recently the oldest person who’s ever been on a sports illustrated magazine.

Jen Hardy [00:08:10]:

And I’m telling you right now, she is several decades older than I am. I’m fifty 5. And She looks like she’s many decades younger than me, and that is not natural. That is air brushing. That is Photoshop, that is surgeons, that is all kinds of things that the general population doesn’t have. And I think when we look at someone like that and we think, okay. If I just do x, y, z, I’m gonna look like that too. I do think that gives us it’s as such a disservice because we’re not.

Jen Hardy [00:08:48]:

And so the question is not whether I’m going to age or anti age. It’s whether I will age or cease to be above ground. And if I’m going to age, I need to make peace with this. Okay? because I’m gonna tell you something. Mother Nature is no woman. If mother nature was a woman, gravity wouldn’t affect women like it does, and we wouldn’t say men are getting mature and women are getting old. Just saying. Okay? So The next time you’re at the store and you pick up that bottle of anti aging cream, I’m not saying don’t get it.

Jen Hardy [00:09:25]:

Let me tell you something. I love my facial creams. I never used to use them. I’ve always had oily skin, but I’ve hit a point in my life when they are necessary. And my husband, I’ll even tell you, oh, honey, your hands. Go put some lotion on. Like and he’s very loving, and he doesn’t mean it mean. He just means if I’ve missed it, and I go out of the house, I’m gonna look down and notice because, honestly, my hands do look older because I’ve spent a lot of time in the skin in the skin.

Jen Hardy [00:09:52]:

Oh, wow. I’ve spent my whole life in the skin. I’ve spent a lot of time in the sun. I’ve always liked the sun, you know, baby oil in the eighties and all that stuff. And I do protect it now. I do. I wear the sunscreen, and I have there’s a whole other episode in that. But I am careful, but because of all my time, My my skin is doing some things.

Jen Hardy [00:10:14]:

And, you know, is it harder for me sometimes? When I look at that, it is. It is sometimes as hard. But I think if society as a whole came together and said, Aging is good. If I’m aging, it means I’m breathing. It means I’m still here on this planet. Every day I’m on this planet. I’m learning and growing. So someone who’s 20, you’re beautiful.

Jen Hardy [00:10:43]:

You’ve got all these great fresh ideas. I love it. I love people of every age. But we also have to think those same kind of positive vibes about someone who’s 70 or 80 or 90 is wow. Think about everything that woman knows. Think of the experience she’s had and the emotions she’s felt and the relationships she’s been in. wow. She has a lot of experience, and I that I could learn from that, and I wanna be around that.

Jen Hardy [00:11:11]:

I’m gonna tell you a story. Oh my gosh. I was I was 29. Was I 29? I was in my twenties, and I was in a bible study. And you can be any religion and listen to this podcast, but I was in the bible study. And I remember I was pregnant with my 4th child, so I was twenty nine. And there was one woman who was forty, and everyone else was sixty five or older. Everybody, everyone at this church, It it seems to be a thing with churches, doesn’t it? But that’s also a thing for another day.

Jen Hardy [00:11:43]:

But the women my age, I kept saying come to this study, it’s phenomenal. And they said, We don’t wanna be there. Everyone’s older. And I thought, well, that’s that seems to be a dumb response personally. for many reasons. And one of those was the wisdom I got, and some of it was about the bible because it was bible study, but most of it was about life because as a woman with 3 young children and being pregnant with my 4th, When those women would say, oh my gosh, honey. I know how tired you are, and I know how hard this feels. But, you know, once your kids grow up and move out, they don’t always call, and I only hear from my son a couple times a year.

Jen Hardy [00:12:30]:

I I remember this woman telling me, and I thought, oh my gosh. You only hear from your son a couple times a year. I went home that day, and I looked at my son who was 2. I mean, it brings tears to my eyes now, and I remember thinking, how could I not see that face every day? How can I not talk to him every day? and it completely shifted how I saw being a mother, how I saw my children, and how I handled those bad days that you have as a young mom. Because instead of wishing them away, I embraced them. And I would say this is so hard, but you know it would be harder. Right? and it it was the best gift I ever could have gotten. And I think That was in the nineties, in the late nineties.

Jen Hardy [00:13:28]:

And I think our culture has become even more segregated age wise. and I think it’s such a sad thing. And I was you know, it’s funny that I was saying I was twenty nine because today, I was ironically talking to a twenty nine year old man whose wife is pregnant with their first baby. And I said, can I please give you some unsolicited advice? and his response was hold on. I can’t believe you just asked me that question. People keep giving us advice. that we don’t want and they don’t ask. And because you asked, I do want your advice.

Jen Hardy [00:14:09]:

And so I went on to tell him about how his wife is gonna be completely baby centric for the 1st 6 months and that almost every husband I’ve ever talked to gets angry about that and agitated and jealous in some form. And for him, when he feels that way to love her through it and when she the baby gets a little bit older, their marriage is gonna be so much stronger and and just to anticipate that. Because I think that’s important for men to be taught because no one else tells them. But then he came back, and he said, you know, that’s the thing is that people who are older, they don’t ask. And So I’m gonna tell you today, if you’re listening to this, you probably have advice for people. You probably have wisdom that you know other people don’t have, and I encourage you to share it. But I’m going to encourage you to say before it May I give you some unsolicited advice? And if the person says no, don’t give it. There’s something about the generations that are younger that they don’t want it.

Jen Hardy [00:15:14]:

They don’t want our advice. And part of me gets really sad about that because I think, well, I’ve been through things. And even the things I did wrong, I either learn from my mistakes or I saw 10 other people do that thing right. And I know I know the answer. And I see people in my age sometimes, but especially yours. struggling so hard. And I’m like, I have the answer, but they don’t want to hear it. And and that’s okay.

Jen Hardy [00:15:41]:

That’s okay because how many times did somebody try to give me advice and I didn’t and fell flat on my face because that is honestly how we learn. But we can also learn from others. So that’s just something that I learned today though. I loved that he came back and said, thank you for asking. And I think that’s just something I’m gonna just kinda put in the back of my head. So We are aging. We are pro aging. I am pro aging because I don’t want the alternative.

Jen Hardy [00:16:11]:

I wanna live for my kids. I wanna live for my husband. I wanna live so that I can take this fabulous over 50 out into the world, and we can just smash all this age poop that’s happening because I don’t like it. But I’m gonna stop talking about anti aging, and I’m gonna stop thinking that way because I want to grow older. And I want you to grow older with me. So as we’re out there and we’re buying our little anti aging makeup and our antiaging creams and lotions and doing god knows what to our face. Oh my gosh. There’s things that shock you and lights and surgery and chemical peels and burns and all those things.

Jen Hardy [00:16:54]:

And we are going to endure them in the name of beauty, but when you do. And when you see those words antiaging, I just want you to smile for a quick second. and say, alright, Jen. I get it. I’m still doing it. And and I I am still doing it, but We’re we’re just gonna have a little giggle, and we know that it’s actually not antiaging. It’s pro aging. And, girl, we’re pros at aging.

Jen Hardy [00:17:21]:

Aren’t we? We are. And so I just wanna thank you. Thank you for joining me today. This is really, really exciting. I cannot even begin to share my excitement with you about how things are taking off And part of that that I’m so excited about is I am starting up a group for women over 50. It’s a group on my website. So, you know, when you go on Facebook and it’s like, you know, you have 8000 friends and really you know 8 of those 8000 friends, and they’re not like their friends in quotation marks. Right? And some of them are rude or whatever and they post things that get you all agitated or whatever.

Jen Hardy [00:18:01]:

Well, you know, I like being on social because there’s some things you can only get from social, but I also want a group of women that get what I’m going through that can join me on this journey. Okay? Because in my life here, in my real life in person, I’ve got 2 younger kids, 1113. And if you’re a woman with children, you know that your friends are typically your kids friends parents. I mean, half of your friends are them. And so my friends are my kid’s age, my older kid’s age, and I I miss talking to women my age who are are parents of of adults and can help me through that because girlfriend, that is a struggle. and other things like this kitchen, Renault, and, you know, you’ve you’ve been there. You’ve been there to some degree. You’ve been through a what I’m going through to some degree.

Jen Hardy [00:18:52]:

And like I was saying before, I love talking to people who have wisdom beyond mine. I think it’s so important. Like, I I think I’m a pretty smart person, but I don’t know everything. And and you might know some things that I don’t know, and I might know and things that you don’t know. And much of other women over there know things none of us know, and we’re all gonna come together and we’re gonna share it. And it’s called the fabulous community. Fabulous over 50 community because you have to be over 50 to be in it. Because, you know, there’s a lot of places where we don’t feel like we belong anymore.

Jen Hardy [00:19:28]:

We should belong, and we technically do belong, but you know what I mean. And I want a place for us. So this is a place for us And it is $7 a month because I need help funding, you know, like, these things cost money, the coding, and all that kind of stuff. And I am running it mostly myself and my husband’s not well. So we are now paying for a nanny, and we’re gonna start paying for other things. And So that just helps with that. But I think you’re 7 bucks a month to start. It’s gonna ramp up to $17 once we get going.

Jen Hardy [00:19:59]:

Still very affordable even for people on a fixed income. So Go to jenhardy.net. You can find the link. It’ll be on that page. And once I get it all set up, it is going to be so fabulous. So if you’re thinking, well, I wanna join this community. This sounds really cool. You’re gonna we’re gonna go back to the other thing.

Jen Hardy [00:20:18]:

You’re gonna email me jen@jenhardy.net, or you can go to jenhardy.net/contact. Send me a message, say, I want in. Boom. I’m sending you an invitation. because it is by invitation only, but all you have to do is ask. Alright? So thank you so much for joining me today. Thank you for being a part of this amazing fabulousness that’s happening right now. It is so exciting.

Jen Hardy [00:20:45]:

And if you’re wondering about the good human award, I am doing that only once a month now because taking care of my husband it’s gonna take the other 3 Fridays. So but we are still doing it. I’ve got the most phenomenal woman coming up a week from Friday. Oh my gosh. She’s amazing. I love her so much, and she is one of the greatest humans I’ve ever ever met. So thank you again for joining me. stay tuned.

Jen Hardy [00:21:13]:

Stay fabulous.