Marriage Tips and Advice – with Jesse Jackson

Jen Hardy [00:00:10]:

Welcome to the fabulous over 50 podcast where we encourage, inspire, and empower women to find their fabulousness and live the life of their dreams. I’m your host, Jen Hardy. And today, we are going to do that by talking to the amazing Jesse Jackson. No. Not that Jesse Jackson. My friend, Jesse Jackson, who just so happens to be the host of a podcast, Called set lusting Bruce, not because he lusts after Bruce Springsteen, but you’ll hear all about the title later He has been able to talk to some fabulous people, but he also has an incredible relationship with his wife of nearly 30 years. Their marriage has been tried and tested, and he just has some incredible advice on how we can get along better with our spouses, and no matter how great your marriage is, we could always use that little oomph to make it a little bit better I know that you’re going to love this. And if you’re not married, listen anyway, because it’s going to give you some great relationship advice for whatever relationship you’re in. So here he is. Jesse, I am I almost called you Bruce. I am so excited to have Jesse in here. It is the amazing Jesse Jackson, who has the set listing Bruce podcast. Thank you so much for joining me today.

Jesse Jackson [00:01:38]:

I am excited to be here, Jen. You were kind enough to join me on my podcast. We talked a little Bruce. We talked a little podcast thing. We talked a lot of John Denver. And I just am very thrilled to be here. You know, as we’re recording this, not to you know, to delay to to break the bubble of real time, but, you know, we just lost Jimmy Buffet as we’re recording this. And I am I am feeling a little sad. You know, it is it feels like we lost a voice of, maybe middle aged white guys are all feeling the loss of Jimmy.

Jen Hardy [00:02:24]:

You know, I every podcast I’ve talked to today has just had a lot of feelings about it. Men, women, everybody, you know, and I think he brought it down to earthness to the music industry. That was sorely lacking. And I think that’s a thing that’s going to really be missed. You know? Is just that, you know, come as you are kind of a thing and

Jesse Jackson [00:02:46]:

Yeah. Yeah. So I had a, I had remembered this years ago in So on Saturday, I was, I was struck well enough that I actually recorded like a 5 or 6 minute podcast. And so I, I put a bed of come Monday underneath it, and I kinda talked about my thoughts about losing Jimmy and then I’d never seen him live. We had tickets when Linda, who’s my wife, which we’re going to see, spending a lot of time talking about, was pregnant. And so she did not feel good, so we we didn’t go to the show. And then every summer, Well, we’ll do it next year. And there’ll always be another summer. There’ll always be another tour, and now then there won’t be. But the reason I’m bringing this up is that I’ve remembered hearing this, and so I went down a Google search, and I found him being interviewed on 60 minutes. This is Jimmy Buffet. And he talked about getting up now at 6 AM because that’s the only time this was years ago when the kids were not loud, so he could work. And he says in about 7:30, he says I go. And he says, you know, I read an article in New York Times about Bruce Springs talking about making pancakes for his kids. And I guess that’s all of us. 20,000 people screaming at us Friday night, Saturday morning, we need to get up and make pancakes for our kids.

Jen Hardy [00:04:21]:

I love that. Yeah. Just down to earth.

Jesse Jackson [00:04:23]:

You know? Absolutely. Yes. That’s amazing.

Jen Hardy [00:04:25]:

See, and and I have to ask you, before we start talking about relationships and all that sort of thing, You have the podcast about Bruce. Did you ever meet Bruce?

Jesse Jackson [00:04:34]:

Yes. So, one time And by the way, in case you guys are going, gosh, how can you do over a 1000 episodes of Bruce Springsteen talk? 900 of them are Robert. No. I don’t know the exact number, but I do b side episodes. And for those of us older to remember, a 45 record had the a side and the b side. And, so I decided early that I love talking to people who are passionate about musicians or reading or something. And so I do b side episodes where I have someone on the podcast to talk about whether it’s Joni Mitchell or Prince. Or, you know, Jimmy Buffet. So, anyway, yes, I met Bruce once. It was and, you know, I’m I’m going to apologize because I love to tell stories. So, Jen, I just started a new job. And I had been there maybe 2 weeks. And Bruce had announced that he had done an autobiography And the story is he showed up at the rec the book publisher because they had published something earlier of his, and he said, like, you guys are my publisher. I have my autobiography. Would you guys be interested in publish it. So to promote it, he was not doing book signings, but what he did do is he would go to local bookstores. You’d stand in line. You’d get 7, 10 seconds with him. They’d take a picture And then when you left, they gave you an autograph copy of the book. So He was coming nowhere close to Dallas, Jen. I mean, nowhere close. And I was kinda joking social media. Hey. Why do you hate the south bruce and kinda joking? And it has announced he was going to be in Austin. And I’m like, oh my goodness. Can I go this early in my new job and explain to them that I need to day off to drive to Austin to spend 10 seconds getting an autograph copy of Bruce Springs’ autobiography? So I ordered the ticket. First thought it was like, okay. There’s a good it’s going to sell out, Jen. There’s no way I’m getting a Sure enough. Got a copy. 25 bucks. Got it. I have it. I’m like, okay. Well, I’ve spent $25 and wasted it on plenty of other things. So it was Thanksgiving, And this new role I had, I had plenty of open recs. We just were so short on people. So we had submitted out resumes that, you know, we had put out for resumes, had a bunch of them. So I’ve called a bunch of people, and I said, hey. I’m not going out of town on Thanksgiving. So if you want to come, on the Friday after Thanksgiving, I will be here. We can interview. Now if you don’t want to, no problem. I I’m not making anyone come in, and we’ll just schedule the next week. But, like, seven or eight people said, yeah. So I spent all day that Friday just in the office and actually the office was locked. So I was in the lobby of the building talking to people. So that Monday, after things giving, my new boss said, hey. How was your Thanksgiving? I said, good. Good. I said, I ended up talking to seven or eight people on Friday. He goes, you worked on a Friday? I said, yeah. Why? I said, well, you know, Joel, we just have too many openings. He said, well, That was a holiday. So if you want a day off or something, just let me know. Exactly. I went. Well, now that you mentioned it, Joel, and so I tell him the story. And he says, you absolutely have to go. He said, we don’t need to tell the CEO why you’re going, but absolutely need to go. So I got up that, morning. I drove straight to Austin, and the whole time, I don’t I don’t know if you remember the scene in the godfather, but the very beginning at Don Corleone’s daughter’s wedding, Luca Brockza is out side repeating what he’s going to say over and over and over again? Well, that was me practicing what I was going to say Bruce all the way down in my car. Bruce. Thank you. You know? And, so I stood in line, waited, you know, just there were tons of people there, went around the building. I spent, like, 3 or 4 hours in line. Got there, you know, you’re going there and then you there was a slot where you could leave gifts And so I had written a note telling him I do a podcast and everything. So I get there. He shakes my hand. I say, Bruce, last year, I spent 9 months unemployed, and It was really hard, and I listened to better days and land of hope and dreams every day to get me through it. I don’t think he heard a word but I needed to say it more than I needed him to hear it. So I got 2 pictures. 1, him and I both looking straight ahead, and one of them, me looking at him as if I’m saying please marry me. And then I picked my book and I drove back to Dallas. So I got my 7 So that’s me, meaning Bruce story.

Jen Hardy [00:10:44]:

There you go. That’s awesome, though. You know? That is so incredible. And that all the stars align to make it happen. I love it. I love it so much. And is your wife into Bruce Springsteen?

Jesse Jackson [00:10:55]:

No. But she puts up with me. The first time we went and saw Bruce was in 2002. That was my first show and her first show. And she afterwards said, like, well, did you enjoy it? And I said, if he had walked on stage, Dorne Bunt had performed born to run live and then walked off, I would have been happy. So, yes, I’m thrilled. And she was like, I didn’t know any of the songs. But then in 2012, my wife and I started talking that we had not been on a vacation together alone in probably 20 years. We’d either gone with another couple or gone with the kid. And so we decided we really wanted to go on a trip by ourselves. So Bruce announced that he was going to do a tour, and this is the wrecking ball tour, and he was coming nowhere close to Dallas, nowhere close. And so we were debating, like, renting a cabin and our and saw, you know, like, what do we wanna do? And I so I she got home, and I said, I got a plan. She goes, okay. Let’s hear the plan. I said, You, I wanna go see Bruce perform. I said in September in 2011, my father died. And we had gone up to Kentucky to for the funeral. He’s buried there at a veteran cemetery right side of Fort Knox, Kentucky. I said, and we haven’t seen my dad’s tombstone, marker, And while we were there, you had picked up these brochures for the Kentucky Bourbon Trail. I said, so here’s my plan. We’ll leave here, we’ll go to Kentucky. We’ll do part of the Kentucky Bourbon Trail. We’ll see my dad’s gravesite. We’ll go up. We’ll go to, Cleveland, we will see Bruce performing Cleveland We’ll see our good friend, Tom, we’ll go to the rock and roll hall of fame, we’ll come back, we’ll do the second half of the Bourbon Trail, then come back to Dallas. We’ll call it our Bruce and Bourbon tour. She goes, oh, that sounds great. So I started walking because I am someone who hates exercise. So I started walking, so I would be a little more comfortable going to Bourbon tours. And she started listening to Bruce Music, so that she would know what’s going on. So the reason I tell this long story is that she loves to hear him live now. And then 1 or 2 shows a a tour is plenty for her. But, yes, she does like see him live, but she does not listen to his music much as I do.

Jen Hardy [00:13:54]:

That’s interesting. But, you know, I like how you you brought both of your things in together. And that really ties into what we were going to talk about now, which is you and your wife have this incredible relationship. And how long have you been married?

Jesse Jackson [00:14:06]:

So we were married in, June 2 1984. And the reason that is important is my birthday is June 3rd. And we were we started dating February 1980. We had dated over 4 years. Probably TMI, but, my wife was raised raised a very strict Catholic. So we did not have intimacy before we got married. So, okay, it was important to her. And every once in a while, she says, man, I was kind of I was kind of sue no. No. No. Twenty year old Jesse who had to go home frustrated for him, you can’t say it was a bad idea. Okay? Anyway, I always like to joke. So we were going to get married, and she was insistent on June 2nd. And the only time the church was available was a 9 AM mask. And I was like, oh, man, that’s just kinda late. Nope. Nope. It’s gotta be June 2nd. Gotta be June 2nd. And after we got married, she said it’s because I had made a joke once I didn’t wanna be, 25 and not married. And I turned 25 on June 3rd. So we got married on June 2nd.

Jen Hardy [00:15:26]:

Wow. That is so cool.

Jesse Jackson [00:15:28]:

So now you’re a smartass?

Jen Hardy [00:15:32]:

That’s so funny. I love it. So what do you what do you think has kept you to having this great relationship this whole time? Or maybe not the whole time. I mean, because, you know, things, you know Yeah.

Jesse Jackson [00:15:43]:

I we joke about that, you know, if we’ve been married, I guess, 39 years, this year was 39, I guess 84 to, yeah, and, you know, 37 of them have been happy. You know, there are plenty of times when she is not happy with me, nor am I happy with her. I think once again, and I tend to tell a lot story. So I apologize, Jen, but

Jen Hardy [00:16:15]:

Don’t apologize. I love it. That’s why you’re here.

Jesse Jackson [00:16:17]:

Yeah. There was there there was some kind of situation and she said something. And she said Why are you telling me that story? And I said, us listening to the other one, tell stories we don’t care about is the key to our marriage. And she goes, you’re right. On that Bruce and Bourbon tour, we were driving down an interstate, and it was one of those really rural interstates where there’s two lanes on the right, two lanes on the left, and there is just trees everywhere. There is not a it’s not one of those, you know, often on the interstate, there’s a lot of things on the side. This is just all wooded. And so we’re driving. And Linda says, you know what always scares me about this section of these kind of roads? And I said, werewolves? And she goes, no. Police officers. Why would you think I would say were And I said, you know, that’s the story of our marriage. After 30 years, I still think you might save werewolves. And you still look at like I’m a little bit crazy.

Jen Hardy [00:17:34]:

I love it. Yeah. You can have some spunk.

Jesse Jackson [00:17:37]:

Yeah. I think one of the things that is when Chris was young and Chris is, we only had one child, when Chris reached of 3 or 4, Linda’s hair had turned almost all gray. She started graying in high school, and she she started, is that your grandson? And that bothered her. So she started getting her hair colored. And she said if she had to look at 1 more, lean cuisine, she was going to climb up the roof and jump off. So she started running and exercising and getting into triathlons. And so I’ve always been I think she has been happier since she had her own, interests that truly have nothing to do with me. And, and I will sit at breakfast table or with her, and she will talk about her workouts she will talk about our training. And, and, you know, I listen because I honestly care. It is not anything to me. I don’t like to exercise. Like, you know, like, my my son and wife decided I don’t I never got comfortable with being uncomfortable. So, like, the moment I’m exercising it hurts, I’m like, oh, okay. Time to stop. You know? But they love it. Some supporting. She has a half marathon coming up at the end of September, and she’s flying up with a bunch of her her best friend. And her best friend’s daughter are all going to meet up in New York, and they’re making a girl strip out of it. And so I’m doing everything I can to help her get ready for it to support. She gets up about 3 in the morning so that she can run because we’re here in Dallas, and it’s a 108. And so by 7 o’clock at night, she’s asleep. And, you know, and I she’s like, are you mad at me? I’m like, no. You’re doing I’m proud of you. You’re doing your goal. And so I think that’s a got a lot to do with it, is that we both respect what the other person has individual goals and like to do and support each other, but going back to that Bruce and Bourbon Tour, and I bring this up often We were in that car together, and we realized, Jen, we still liked each other. We still liked talking to each other. And whether it was telling stories or listening to music or just having a comfortable silence in that car, we still enjoyed each other’s company. And she still makes me laugh, and I still make her laugh. And, I think that’s the big key is that we still like hanging around each other.

Jen Hardy [00:20:48]:

So I think that is that’s so important. And my husband and I are like that too. We’re so close. Yeah. And it’s so amazing. But from a man’s point of view, Let’s say there’s a woman listening and she thinks, well, I don’t think he likes me. I don’t think I like him.

Jesse Jackson [00:21:02]:

Yeah.

Jen Hardy [00:21:02]:

You know, how what do we do? You know, from a man’s point of view, what what do you think a woman could do to try to, you know, and I mean, there’s the obvious ways to try to spark his interests, but I’m talking about, like, in a deeper connection kinda rekindle that, you know, that liking each other again. Cause I think once you lose that, you know, that’s hard. You know, the passion will come and go. But

Jesse Jackson [00:21:22]:

Yeah. Yeah. And I think, you know, it it’s I think it’s the same advice you’d give. Like, I remember someone mentioning if you weren’t getting along with your teenager to try to show an interest in something they like Whether it’s a boy band or a heavy metal band, you can tell I do a lot of music. Or whether it’s, you know, wrestling like my son or just something they’re interested and really spend time with it. You know, it’s very easy to go we have a catchphrase. There was a comedian once, and I wish I could give his name because, I use this all the time, but he he had to put down that someone would make a statement, and he would say, oh, yeah. I read about that. And who gives a blank magazine? K? So what we do now is we’ll say, you know, I was reading something and I think it made the cover of who gives a blank magazine. And that is code to say You probably don’t care about this story, Jen, but for some reason, I need to tell you this story. So I need you just to listen. And sometimes she will say, no, no, no, I don’t think that was on the cover of who gives it F Magazine. I I actually think that may have been buried in the middle of it, or, no. No. No. That would have made that magazine. That’s interesting. Right? Though we do have our moments where I will say, hey, Linda, do you wanna know something? Is it about Bruce Spring Senior, Doctor Who? Never mind. I just because I know, at that point, shouldn’t wanna hear it. Right? Shouldn’t wanna hurt. So I think that the cliche ride is what is he interested in and fake it till you make it. You know, and try to figure out why, whether it’s, you know, a sports team, or a, you know, a a hobby, you know, truly what is about that. And also, And this is hard not to be jealous of that passion that your partner has for something that you go, well, why aren’t they that passionate about me? Right? Like, why and we had a little bit, like, you hate exercise, Jesse, but you will go to dragon con and spend 3 days walking all over Atlanta, but I can’t get you to go on a white hike on the woods with me. And I’m like, you’re right. But there’s nothing in the woods I want to see. Versus at Dragoncon, I’m going to con you know, conventions or seeing something I’m interested in. So And then we try to find what’s something to do together, whether it’s bingeing a TV show, listening to live music, you know, going to plays or doing something. And, you know, and sometimes you gotta do something Like, my wife loves going to the farmers market. I don’t get it. I mean, I’m like, why? But she enjoys it. So We routinely try to go to the farmers market and let her go and we walk, and she enjoys. And we’re like, you know, I’m glad it made you happy.

Jen Hardy [00:25:24]:

Yeah. And I think, you know, while we’re talking about this too, a good thing is to not point score those things either. Right? So it doesn’t mean that just because you go to the farmers market, three times. She has to go to 3 Bruce Springsteen concerts. Like, right? You just Yeah. You enjoy the other person’s thing and don’t don’t try to keep track because that’s I think people get hung up in that a little bit too.

Jesse Jackson [00:25:46]:

They really do. And I I am a firm believer. Marriage is never 5050. It’s 90 10. It’s 1090. And you hope that if you found a good partner that overall you work out to 5050, 6040, but there’s plenty of times when you’re doing the heavy burden and the other person isn’t. And, And and you have to speak up, but you also have to be able to at times ask yourself, well, is it really this important? Right? Like, right now, You know, when I always tell Linda, like, I when the clothes need folding, if you’re too tired to fold them, when I’ve run out of drawers, I’m going to full close. Right? You don’t have to worry about that. Right? And so I think the other thing is, and every once in a while, do something that you know, makes them smile. And just and it is a little thing like, you know, it truly is. I’m like, you didn’t have to foreclose this today, Jesse. It’s been a couple of weeks since I’ve done them. You know, And partly because we have an adult son living with us right now, he’s saving money for a house. So he works from home, My wife’s retired. So I get home at 5 or 6. Usually, everything’s done. So everyone’s on the weekends. I’m like, man, I you know, I gotta make sure I haven’t forgotten how to fold towels. Let me try to do some of this.

Jen Hardy [00:27:37]:

That’s I like that. That’s really good advice. Yeah. Yeah. Because I think, yeah, it’s easy to get swept up in in the routine where, oh, this person always says that, and that person always does that. Yeah. But I know my husband was He was doing something. He was posing funny. And he’s like, is this sexy? And I was like, you know what? To me, sexy is when you wash the dishes. Like, You know, because I’m I’m a woman. So, like, I’m not as visual in that way, but but to me, you know, talking to me during the day and do picking up on the little things that I need help with, like, that’s where the sexy is found. And, you know, and it’s and it’s different, obviously, for a man than it is for a woman. And to recognize that, I think, that’s something we’re losing in our culture right now is the differences. And it’s so important to know what they are so you can meet the other person where they’re at instead of, you know?

Jesse Jackson [00:28:29]:

Yeah. I I do think that is a really well thing. Alright? The, you know, it’s the old joke, you know, some some good looking guy shows up and says, I’ll be whatever you wanna do. You in a name it. Okay. Well, is full of load of clothes and, you know, and put the kids to bed. You know, I I just The the other thing that helps, I think, with us is, we have discussed there are there are talking points that need to be not brought up. There are things that And I won’t get into specifics, but the she will say when you say this statement, it really hurt my feelings. And and it would be easy for me to go, but that’s silly. I don’t mean it that way. I don’t want it to be, why are being overly concerned, but I will go, okay. Then I will make sure I won’t. Same thing with me. I will say, okay. You’ve you’ve been saying this multiple times, and it’s really gotten old. I think you need to stop. But we also have enough of a relationship where, I will say Okay. Really? I do not have a credibility of us knowing since 1980. When is the last time I’ve done blank? We’ll never. Okay. So you can’t give me the grace at this point, like, maybe go, you know, I bet you he doesn’t mean it that way and then bring it up to me. So Yeah.

Jen Hardy [00:30:27]:

Oh, I like that. You know what? That’s that is really good advice, I think, for all of us. Yeah. Like, especially as women, you know, because, yeah, there’s some things Dave says, and I’m like, but, yeah, no, I know him well enough to know that he doesn’t mean that in

Jesse Jackson [00:30:40]:

a Right.

Jen Hardy [00:30:40]:

Salty way. You know?

Jesse Jackson [00:30:42]:

Yeah. And that’s why I think it’s perfectly okay. And now if you do it all the time, if I constantly tell Linda, don’t say this. Don’t say that. Don’t say that. Because she said something the other night that I felt bad about, I had baked a cake just out of the box she had said, oh, it’s worth it, you know, labor day weekend. Are you going to bake? And so I just made a simple cake, you know, out of the box, put an her egg in it. That’s my hint for my mom. My mom says if you use a cake box, mix that, instead of oil, use stick a butter and then put, if it says 3 eggs, put 4, extra egg will help it be more rich. So we did that. And so, she didn’t want icing. So I put powdered sugar over it, and it was a chocolate cake. And so I cut it because I didn’t wanna leave it in the pan, and I put it in a tough work container. And she came and said, you know, when you put the cake in the container, it gets really moist. It gets damp. So I’m like, okay. I didn’t know that. I mean, what do you mean? Mean, I can’t just leave it out, Linda. Every time I say something lately, you’re you’re mad at me, and I’m complaining. Okay. Don’t know where that came from. I do know where that came from. You got up at 4 AM yesterday morning and ran thirteen miles and your dog tired. So I I went to the kitchen. I took the cake out of the Tupperware and put it on a plate, put a, put some, you know, like, a napkin her it. And, then later when she came out, she goes, oh, this is perfect. I said, no problem. Glad to know that putting it in the Tupperware bowl bothers you. And I think about that sometimes a lot is that you you can be you really can be in a no win scenario. And I’ll give you an example It has nothing to do with husband and wives, but I think it says the example perfect. I was talking to my sister-in-law, and she said kids can’t win. If you’re in the kitchen working and you’re child comes in and says, mom, can I get a sandwich? You’re going, can’t you see I’m doing something? My hands are full. Why why are you bothering me? So you go you finish in the kitchen, you sit in the table, you sit in the living room, and the kid comes and says, hey, mom, Can I get a sandwich? I was just in the kitchen.

Jen Hardy [00:33:29]:

Why are

Jesse Jackson [00:33:30]:

you why are you bothering me now? And That really struck me because I said, you know, the reality is you just don’t wanna be bothered to make a sandwich. It doesn’t matter when they’re going to ask. So there are times when when are they supposed to say Okay. I am tired of eating Salisbury Steak hamburger helper, or I am tired of green beans, or I am tired of blank. So you don’t tell your partner that you’re tired of blank food. You should only hurt their feelings. They could. They’ve spent time. They’re busy. You’re busy. Often both of us work, right, outside the home. Or even if they if one of them works in the home, they’re working hard. They’re either doing writing. They’re training. They’re they’re doing cleaning the house. Whatever. Right? So you don’t wanna hurt their feelings by telling them, hey. You know, what you ate I’m just tired of it. So then they’re just going to keep cooking it till finally you’re going to go, this is crap, I’m tired of you cooking this. Why are you doing that? And they’re going to go, why don’t you just tell me? Right? Yeah. So I always make a point when I’m cooking something new, by the way, another key to our marriage is when we got married at 84, we made a deal that whoever got home first had to cook dinner. Miraculously, till Linda retired, she never got home before me. Just worked that out. Anyway, so, I will when I try something new, I will say, I’m trying something new. If it’s junk, you need to tell me. I I’m not my feelings are not going to be hurt because you know, if you guys and and, you know, sometimes he’ll she’ll say, that wasn’t your worst. I mean, it was okay. But I wouldn’t repeat it. Or, no. No. This was really good. Or, yeah, this kinda was gruel, wasn’t it? Like, it really was. So I guess the idea of, right, we you talk a lot about communication, but it’s it is the the little things that you share that we kind of visit and talk about is I think one of the reasons why we’re hitting almost 40 years of marriage.

Jen Hardy [00:36:14]:

Yeah. And those little things. I mean, those are the things that add up. Right? You know, I mean, because there’s not that there are big things that come, but Hopefully, they’re few and far between. It’s all those little things. And if you can make those, yeah, that up, that’s really good. That and it was funny when you said the first person that get home would make dinner, I thought I’d get home last every time.

Jesse Jackson [00:36:36]:

That’s what she did. And so So and that was some adjustment for us because she’s now retired. So she’s home. Ah. And she hates cook She hates good. Yeah. And, and when it’s just her and I, you know, she’s like, Well, what do you want? I’m like, trying to decide what’s for dinner is 3 quarters of the issue. Right?

Jen Hardy [00:37:05]:

Yeah.

Jesse Jackson [00:37:05]:

And so, so about a month ago, and my son like I said, is living with us, said, why don’t we just make it all 3 of our own? Like, if if one of us feels like cooking great, but instead, and so he really is very happy with, a bag of salad, some rolled turkey or, you know, something, I will eat leftovers all day long. And my Linda Linda found a, one of the meal services, and she gets 4 meals every week. And that way, all of us are like, We don’t have there’s no stress anymore. Like, who’s going to cook? What do you want? We’re just like all on our own, which is really helps the pressure.

Jen Hardy [00:37:56]:

Yeah. Yeah. See, we have a calendar, and we just I fill it out the month before with just a basic idea of what’s for dinner because that it is it. That’s three quarters of it. Right? I hate that question. 3 o’clock in the afternoon. What’s for dinner? Yeah. I don’t I don’t wanna decide. But if it’s already on the piece of paper,

Jesse Jackson [00:38:11]:

And

Jen Hardy [00:38:12]:

it’s stuff that we know, you know, it’s it’s all the same thing. So I I finally put on Saturday that it’s supposed to be a new thing because I’m sick to death. But, but, yeah, man, that that question I tell you what, you know, it’s

Jesse Jackson [00:38:25]:

And and Lynde is a little bit like you, if if she knows what we’re going to cook, she is easier for like, oh, okay. I know I’m supposed to do this. Yeah. I I remember some comedian said, what’s for dinner? He says, do the same thing I did. Open up the freezer. Whatever falls out. That’s what I’m cooking.

Jen Hardy [00:38:47]:

There you go. Yeah. Yeah. You know, and I think back, you know, my mom would do this elaborate thing and set out the thing, the, you know, the frozen meat or whatever. And And, you know, you can’t do that at 4 o’clock in the afternoon. You just can’t. Although the instapot, that was Dave really liked that. He was into that for about 1 month. But then Okay. You know, like any new toy. But

Jesse Jackson [00:39:08]:

Well, during the winter, I will do crock pot roast and, you know, I will make a pot of gumbo. I will make a pot of spaghetti, And then, and then we’ll eat off that a couple of days. But then by this 3rd day, they’re kind of done with leftovers. So we have to do. Yeah.

Jen Hardy [00:39:32]:

Yeah. See, that’s a great idea. I love that. And I had somebody on the show, and she said, you know, she makes the same thing for breakfast every every day of the every day of the week. Yeah. And it’s just easier. I’ve had the same breakfast every day for 7 years.

Jesse Jackson [00:39:44]:

Really?

Jen Hardy [00:39:45]:

I have a protein fruit smoothie. It’s just what I do. I I don’t like eating in the morning, but I need to eat, you know, and but my kids would be mortified if I told them they’re having the same thing. Every day, but I think that that is really helpful in doing that. So that’s awesome. Alright.

Jesse Jackson [00:39:59]:

Well too.

Jen Hardy [00:40:00]:

Yeah. It doesn’t bother me. I mean, clearly after Yeah. Long. I think if I had the same meal, every meal, it would bother me. But but, So before we go, because I don’t wanna keep you too long, what would be your advice? Well, actually, no. I’m not we’re not going to go quite yet because I there’s I got 2 more questions I wanna ask sick because you’ve you’re you’re not thirty anymore either. No. How has it been for you? Have you have you passed fifty?

Jesse Jackson [00:40:28]:

So, yes, I this past June was my Beatles’ birthday. I am now 64.

Jen Hardy [00:40:36]:

Are you okay? Yeah. I could’ve done the math, but you know, I don’t wanna okay. So at for you as a man, has there been some kind of significant change, like, with any of the big birthdays coming up, or have you has it just not felt any different to you?

Jesse Jackson [00:40:53]:

So, when I turn 40, everything went to hell in a handbasket. I had high blood pressure. I had diabetes. So and then a few years ago, I was diagnosed with colon cancer, And, I’m fine, but it did. You know, I had to go through chemo and, a lot of that And then 2 years ago, I had a massive, growth in my stomach and they thought it was stomach cancer, but when they got in there and took it out, it turned out it was benign. So So I’ve had more health scares from me than I’ve had. I I have trouble waking up in the morning, you know, more than a I used to never have a trouble going to sleep. I, you know, and and now that I do need to take a little bit of a sleeping pill at night. And I I have a little trouble waking up in the morning. I I can feel myself. It’s harder to move some days, and I can feel this, you know, this stress. My wife says I haven’t lost the step mentally, but I feel like I have a little bit error things that I would have known before that I can’t think of. But, yeah, I I, and I also one of the things that I remember when I was around 30, Linda’s dad was visiting us, and he was 64, 65. And he talked about his death a lot, just making jokes. And I asked him once on the side, you know, dad, why are you doing it? He says, well, it’s it’s present mine. And I don’t think I’ve gotten where I make a lot of death jokes anymore, but it is aware that the road in front of us is certainly shorter than the road behind us. And, I I worry a little bit about because there’s things that Linda and I do for each other that the other one doesn’t do. So you wonder a little bit about that. I now feel a little guilty that we never had a second child. So Chris now when he loses both of us will not have a sibling. Though he has a couple of good friends that are like brothers to him. So, yeah, I I think that’s a little bit of this difference, we see, of and I also I I I worry a lot about what’s coming next for if I do get grandkids about what’s going on more than I, I think I did. There there’s some really scary things going out there, Jim, that There’s a lot of unkindness. Forget which side of the aisle you’re on. There just is a lot of meanness and unkindness out there that that concerns me. I don’t know if that answer your question, but that’s the

Jen Hardy [00:44:28]:

It does. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, and and that’s exactly. No. It doesn’t matter what side you’re on. We we don’t have to be on the side. It is. There’s a lot of stuff going on that makes me very sad for my kids. Yeah.

Jesse Jackson [00:44:39]:

Yeah.

Jen Hardy [00:44:39]:

And So, so this is a this is a hot question. And, you know, I wouldn’t ask you with your wife sitting there, but, and and you can answer or not answer, but I think I know how you’re going to answer. Your wife is aging as well, and I’m sure that she’s close to your age. So do you still find her just as beautiful as you did before?

Jesse Jackson [00:44:58]:

Yes. I do. She she says that when she’s trying to lose weight, she gets mad that I don’t compliment her. Like, everyone else that I watch £10 and they’re all talking about good. I look, and you don’t say anything. And I go, well, to be fair, when you added £20. I didn’t say anything. Did I? And she was, no. I so I you know, I I just see you. Now every once in a while, when she used to have to go to work, she would stop by, and I’d be on the computer in the morning before I headed to work. And she’d say, you know, good night. Goodbye. Have a great day. And I’d go, you caggard today. And she’d always go, that’s good. That means I’m losing weight. My face is showing. Yeah, I I think, you know, she’s there are times when I have this overwhelming ceiling of affection for her. And, and this friendship and this this very, very feeling of gratitude that somehow we found each other in February of 1980 and have worked through everything that we’ve had to work together from you know, certainly financial difficulties, medical difficulties, raising a teenager is hard. You know? So, yeah, and and all of around, you know, we still like hanging with each other. So, yes, I still find her my best friend, and she’s still someone that I smile when I see.

Jen Hardy [00:46:53]:

It’s it’s so beautiful. So if, you know, if you’re listening and your husband tells you, he finds you beautiful. It does not matter. Doesn’t matter if you’re a 50 or a 70 or 90, he really does. Yeah. And and that’s, you know, I’ve I’ve had to kinda come to grips with that. Husband’s like, but you’re more beautiful to me than you were before because I’m we were closer. Right?

Jesse Jackson [00:47:13]:

Yeah. I I think that’s a really good point to share is that, you know, it we’re all getting older. And, and gravity hurts. And it’s it’s harder and harder to and I think what mostly concerns us is at least from my end is, are you nice to me? Are you grumpy? You know, I I, you know, I I want you to be nice to me, not be grumpy. I want you to tell me what you need for me so I can do my best to hit it. And, yeah, you’re you’re cute as a button, but, you know, trust me, that’s, you know, this is we’re not 22 anymore and looking for that stunningly perfect, you know, mate, I want a partner. I want someone that that thinks I’m funny and laughs at my jokes and that, you know, is there for me and we’ll talk about, I don’t know about you, Jen, but there there are times when you have to do medical things for your significant other, and they go, there’s no way this should do this. Right? But Right. When I had when I had colon cancer and I was so so sick and I just was I just both ends coming out. Linda’s like, yeah, I’ve had to clean parts of that boy. I never should have had to see.

Jen Hardy [00:48:38]:

Right. And and, you know, and I think that’s that is that’s that’s so important that you can get to that point where none of that matters.

Jesse Jackson [00:48:47]:

Right?

Jen Hardy [00:48:47]:

You know, it’s it’s like when you have a baby. Right? You do any of that for a baby because it’s a baby. And it’s the same thing, you know, as we get older, there’s, yeah, there’s parts that you didn’t think you’d look at or see or take care of and but they’re there. And and that’s what this is all about. Right? Then that’s really. The whole, you know, we grow old together in sickness and in health and that whole thing. And, and it’s beautiful to have someone to share it with and

Jesse Jackson [00:49:10]:

I agree.

Jen Hardy [00:49:11]:

Yeah. And thank you for sharing your insight. And I love talking to you. You’re so amazing. Wow.

Jesse Jackson [00:49:17]:

Thank you for giving me a chance to visit. I I love it. And, I certainly hope everyone. If you have not listened to Jen, check out setlisting Bruce, do a search with her name. We had a wonderful conversation, and, you’re welcome anytime.

Jen Hardy [00:49:36]:

Thank you. I appreciate it. And, if people wanna find you, where can they find you? Cause I want them to be able to do that.

Jesse Jackson [00:49:41]:

So I am on the x now, not Twitter, but I am still on, Jesse Jackson DFW. The podcast is called set plus sting Bruce, not that I have a sexual obsession with Bruce. When Bruce used too. He isn’t right now this tour, but often when he toured, he changed his setless set list often. And so instead of set listing, you started becoming set lusting because he was playing songs like, oh, I can’t believe he’s doing this one tonight. So that’s where the podcast is. It’s wherever you find podcasts. If you have a favorite musician, reach out to me. Setlessonbruce@gmail.com. I would love for you to join me and you can talk about whoever your favorite musician is, and we will have a good time. And so I I do want to share, I had a very special episode as we’re recording this just last week, and I’m going to get serious for a minute, Jen. Sarah Gregory, was a, Springsteen fan, but her grandmother was murdered when she was around 20. And Sarah went through a spiral of self self medication, abuse, substance abuse, and she got clean and sober, but she did not move forward for giving the man who killed her grandmother. In this interview that she had with me, she said that was my butt. I told my sponsor, I told my spiritual advisor, anything but that, anything but that. And in this story, the podcast, and her name is Sarah Gregory. So if you look up set less than Bruce Sarah Gregory, She was listening to the radio and the song letter to you came on by Bruce Springs team. And this is from his last album in 2020, and the letter spoke to her. And she walked into her house, and she wrote a letter to this man who had killed her grandmother, who was on death row in Alabama. Skip ahead a couple of years. They had become friendly, and she was there 2 days before his execution, spent time with him, helped him to recover the relationship with family because his family said if you can forgive him, we can. And one of the last things he saw before he was put to death was her staring at him with love.

Jen Hardy [00:52:34]:

Wow. That just brings tears to my eyes right now. That is amazing.

Jesse Jackson [00:52:38]:

The story is amazing. It is Sarah Gregory. It is I have it on my YouTube and I have it on iTunes or wherever you get podcasts. And I It it is I joke often that my podcast is about the power and magic of rock and roll. This is this is spiritual spiritual touching for sure. And I I I I just urge everyone to go listen to it. Because the story of redemption and how this helped her heal and him heal is just a is a story that needs to be shared.

Jen Hardy [00:53:15]:

And I’ll I’ll have a link to that. I’ll actually I I’ll have a link to your show in general, but I’ll also have a link to that episode and mine because we had a great conversation. And it was so much fun. And there’s things you’ll learn about me that, nobody else knows if you listen to this episode because I don’t know. Jesse has a way of making you talk. So Yeah. It’s been amazing. So thank you again, Jesse. Thank you for sharing. You’ve been amazing. And, I really appreciate your time.

Jesse Jackson [00:53:38]:

Thank you, Jen. I I’ve, you can cut this out, but one of my great joys is when a guest after the fact says, well, I had a good time, but you took it the next step. You sent a lovely email saying I had no idea what was going to happen, and you just gave me a blessing. And, you know, that’s what it’s about. We podcast communication. And so that was a gift you gave me that I just appreciate so much.

Jen Hardy [00:54:11]:

Oh, thanks. And you can see why I sent him an email. He is just such a fabulous person and is a great storyteller and has the most beautiful marriage. And that’s why I wanted him to come on and talk to you about it. And I can tell you, I took some of his advice and literally stopped an argument between my husband and I because I thought you know, this person does love me, and I don’t need to take what he’s saying in the wrong light. I can just hear the words he’s saying, and not blowed up. And we did that, and it was amazing. So thanks, Jesse. Thank you for spending your time with us as your sending. I know you could be doing a lot of other things, and the fact that you’re spending your time with me is so meaningful. And I just want you to know how much I love you, and I appreciate you. We are going to be having my husband, Dave, come on for our grand finale on the man’s perspective month. And he’s got some interesting things to share, so you’re definitely going to wanna stick around. Stay tuned and stay fabulous.